C.S. Lewis wrote the book A Grief Observed after losing his wife to cancer. In fact, he first wrote it as a private journal, and then later published it under the pseudonym N.W. Clerk. Arthur Lindsley of the C.S. Lewis Institute has written an interesting article about C.S. Lewis’ book. The article is worth the read, as it gives us insight into how one of the greatest Christian thinkers of the 20th century dealt with grief. If you have time, I recommend it (if you don’t have time, stop reading this and go read that article instead). According to Dr. Lindsley, “…when the book first came out, many people thought it would be helpful to C.S. Lewis, and he received many gift copies.” This is a funny story about how life often treats us at our saddest moments. I enjoy gallows humor as much as the next guy, but I have never dealt well with loss.
As readers of my most recent post may recall, even the loss of a puzzle piece will send me searching the entire house. I often sense that it bothers my family when I take so much interest in trying to help them find lost toys or lost hairbrushes or really anything, but I cannot help it. I want to find the lost things — I need to find the lost things.
But I cannot.
Loss comes in many forms, and in varying degrees: from food waste or spoilage to lost pets. In the past few years especially, many have experienced the pain and regret of lost jobs, opportunities, or friendship as a result of disease and the government’s reaction to it and our disagreements with each other about what to do. However, in my experience, little compares to the pain we experience when we lose a loved one to death’s dark shadow.
The Long Drive Home
It was a long drive that evening from Beaumont back to LeBlanc where my sister and parents were living at the time. Actually, it rarely took more than an hour and a half, but that night the journey somehow seemed longer … and darker.
My sister had called to tell me that my mother was being taken to the hospital, and I immediately jumped into my car and drove to their house. The current concepts of so-called smart phones were not a real option in those days and affordable cell phones were not yet well suited to hands free operation, so it was a very lonely and uninformed hour and a half as I drove. I do not recall what was on the radio, but it did not matter or help in any way. I was travelling a familiar road, but not knowing where the journey led or what I might find at its end. Tears were flowing as I offered desperate prayers. I later discovered that my mother had passed away while I was driving. Within a year, we also lost our father to a stroke, which I would not wish on anyone. After almost 20 years now, I have never been able to get over the loss of my father and mother. If you have ever lost a loved one, then you probably feel the same. I miss them and think of them often, but when I would desire to call on them to ask advice or express my love, they are not there.
When confronted with the loss of my mother, I had a lot of questions about Heaven and what happens to our souls between now and the resurrection, and I am grateful for Mark, my pastor at the time, who faithfully listened and helped with knowledge from Scripture. I wrote a eulogy, and Mark also agreed to read it for me — the tears would have overwhelmed and garbled my words and concealed the thoughts meant to honor my mother. I am grateful that the LORD provides us with pastors and faithful friends in time of need (as Job learned, in times of loss, we need pastors and faithful friends more than preachers and preachy friends). If you are struck by a sense of loss in these days, consider reaching out to a pastor or faithful friend that can listen and help you see the love of Jesus as they remind you of the precious promises of Scripture.
New Perspectives on Psalm 23
One of the surprising aspects of my mother’s funeral was the level of comfort that I received from a simple stock bookmark that was free for the taking from a display at the funeral home. It featured a picture of a flower and the entire text of Psalm 23, which my mom had always liked. In her honor, and unable to reach for her, I reached for the bookmark. In that moment, as I read the bookmark silently to myself, Psalm 23 began to take on greater meaning and significance for me. I knew that it would appear cliche or even cheesy to most observers, but in my shoes, I appreciated that I was able to rediscover Psalm 23 in my time of need, and it remains special to me today.
A Psalm of David.
The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
He leadeth me beside the still waters.He restoreth my soul:
He guideth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil; for thou art with me:
Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies:
Thou hast anointed my head with oil; my cup runneth over.Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life:
Psalm 23, Revised Version 1895
And I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.
Just over three years ago, yes, that would be the infamous “two weeks” in March of THAT particular year, Pastor Liam Goligher of Tenth Presbyterian Church in Philadelphia preached an excellent sermon on Psalm 23 as part of the series Sermons for a Time of Crisis. The video recording is 40 minutes, but worth the time for you to listen to this if you are facing crisis or struggling with loss.
Dr. Goligher ends the sermon with a reference to Revelation 7:16-17, where we see the promise that God shall wipe away every tear from our eyes.
Every Tear?
Yes, every tear. This same promise is repeated in Revelation 21:3-5, which I have used as the basis for my hymn He Shall Wipe Away Every Tear.
He Shall Wipe Away Every Tear
This hymn catalogs many of the most precious promises from Revelation 21 and 22. The text is especially meaningful for any that have lost loved ones. We can be certain of our hope in Christ. He has promised.
Although conveying an ancient message, the lyrical style is more modern than what you may find in most traditional hymn texts. Phrases are constructed in a manner that captures the natural patterns in the original text that inspires it, rather than forcing these great concepts to conform to some simple manmade metrical pattern. The meter is complex and irregular but repeats with each verse. Although there is no particular rhyming scheme, the verses are united by the short refrain “He has promised”, which is repeated at the end of each verse. The tune is hauntingly simple, but sweeping, bold, and assertive to match the great promises of Scripture. The simplicity of the melody is balanced by the relative complexity of the harmony that is paired with it.
I am hopeful that this hymn can be a blessing for you as you listen to the tune and read the words.
LISTEN TO THE HYMN TUNE
READ THE WORDS
He shall wipe away every tear from their eyes,
and death shall be no more,
neither shall there be mourning nor crying,
nor pain anymore.
He has promised!
He will stay with His people and be our God.
His dwelling is with man.
Former things are all gone, and now behold,
He makes all things new.
He has promised!
He is Alpha, Omega, first, and the last --
beginning and the end.
If we thirst, He will give living water.
He is coming soon.
He has promised!
There is no need of sun or moonlight for us --
the Lamb shall be our light,
and His name shall He write on our foreheads.
His face we will see.
He has promised!
(c) 2020 Robert E. Benton, Jr.
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